you can only flow with the change, enjoy the ride, and take advantage of the beauty when you accept and love nature in it's varying forms I have been intending to make this post for a while now, as I got back many film photos that I have taken over the past year recently and have been wanting to share them. Then I was reading through my journal the other day and thought it might be interesting to give you a glance into my brain.... So I came up with the idea of pulling segments of my journal entries and partnering them with this batch of film photos. It actually took a lot longer than I thought it would, as I realized how personal my writing is in my journal, and how I wanted the photos to somewhat correspond or at least harmonize with the words. The quotes are short, but succinct. They display my inner struggles, my doubts, fears, and my attempts at confidence boosting and grounding. It is finally coming together as I have managed to badly injure my knee and am stuck on a couch for a while. Ice, compression, therapy, food, sleep, and blogging. I hope you can enjoy reading this post as much as I did composing it. so many blank, clean pages to look forward to I am getting closer to being ready to trust, ready to believe in myself trust your decisions -- trust your instinct, trust your body and, you have already decided anyway. so that's that. ...I was reminded that you don't have to search for that quiet, calm, confident and still place. It exists inherently. It is always there. pure flow, pure focus, is our most essential self heading to a balanced, driven, calm state where I need to be I wish I could have kept on believing that is the real me that I want to harness know that this is exactly where you're supposed to be maybe that creature of self-doubt will return... to believe, to play, to revel in that silent, joyful curiosity when one is truly acting from the heart, performing from the soul, they do not care about what others think how to enjoy something that you don't necessarily like is a difficult feat. Just because it isn't your style, per-se, doesn't mean you can't embrace it, enjoy it, welcome what Mother Nature has to give you, with open arms lay in the sun, play in the ocean, bury yourself in the sand, HEAL I didn't feel the sun shining on me very often he reminds me that it is about the journey, that there is so much joy and pure pleasure to be found in every day, every run, every breath believe, just for the sake of believing the training wasn't great, but the mountains were gorgeous anchor yourself to the present moment it is the darkness, the mind, that covers it up and makes you forget the light that got into my head and freaked me right out. in the end my doubt and deep, internal fear took over to care about others so deeply that you no longer make comparisons.... your position gives you the opportunity to move beyond the boundaries of where you are physically I am working on my calm it feels so nice to feel the fluid-ink run out of the tip as I make these marks see the world, every person, every relationship, every conversation as an opportunity to practice. love them, listen to them, watch them and know that, like all thoughts, they are fleeting and not real "the nullifying, defeating, negating, repeating joy of life" - Joanna Newsom let your light shine through the strength of that connection
2 Comments
Dan Herrera
4/5/2017 03:05:30 pm
Hey Laurenne, A little less than a week out of surgery and I hope your starting to settle in. Been there done that with several ski related surgeries myself over the years and you never have the same recovery is what I have found. My ACL and meniscus was the worst since it's your "wheel" that's messed up and we depend on that power and strength ! Both my shoulders have been blown out and had surgery 10 years apart ! The down time is frustrating. Someone like you who's skill is your job makes it all that much tougher to keep battling. But you find a way. I stopped taking drugs after a day or two cuz I was too worried about falling and damaging something else! So pain is something I have learned to use as my barometer during recovery and PT. Now to add insult to injury....I just broke my collarbone a month ago and was in a immobilizing sling for three weeks before I decided to start PT on my own. one week of intense range of motion work and resistance work in the pool (hydro baby) and I was able to ski one month to the day! I'm still in recovery so I'm not healed but I ended the season on my terms and fought to get there. Your much stronger than me....your a heck lot more motivated and you are Laurenne Ross who is a feisty free spirit with big dreams. Just listen to your body and together you and your friends will get you through this next chapter. I read your blog and always love your straight forward no bull approach. Really loved seeing the whimsical side of you at Burning Man. Your happy spirit full of adventure and you make me smile. All the best to you my friend.
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Patrick
4/28/2017 06:21:22 am
Hey, just read through your latest post. I'm not sure how I ended up here? Instagram I think. Anyways , great pictures. Great, borderline Genuis thoughts!!! I'm being a bit dramatic here but it's like you wrote the things I've often had rattling around my bones and brain. I too had a fantastic injury ( tib/fib ) we all know the recovery is brutal but we recover. What ever that word actually means. So,,, thanks for putting your thoughts out there. Was thought provoking and encouraging. Can't ask for much more these days!
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